Heads I Win Tails You Lose
by cinnysangel
Summary: A killer is leaving his calling card all over Virginia, could Rossi be the next vicitm, to a serial killer who is "heads" above the rest?
1. Chapter 1

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**Run for your life**

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

**Chapter 1**

A bead of sweat ran down her brow, tracing the contours of her face hanging briefly at her jaw before dropping to her yellow stretchy jersey blouse. Under that she had on a white t-shit and sports bra. Finishing up the outfit was basic black jogging pants and zip up hoodie. So what happened to shorts, a ratty t-shirt, and hoodie that she used to throw on to go for a run? When she went to the store for something to wear the sales woman had seen a sucker coming. And JJ not only ended up buying expensive gear she didn't need she also bought the latest styles. The only decent thing she got was the running shoes. She knew what she needed and no matter what the sales people said she got the right ones on her own.

The initial burning in her muscles was starting to fade. And her breathing although it was labored, was in rhythm. She ran through the gate at the park and down the lane that led to a clearance that framed a pond. Mallard ducks floated on the surface seemingly effortlessly. JJ was well aware of what was going on just below the surface. It was the same with her at the moment. She looked like she was out on a typical run but just below the surface her brain was working furiously.

She jogged down a flight of cement stairs, resisting the urge to grab the railing. She wasn't out of shape, quite the opposite, but it had been years since she ran this fast and this far. Her balance wasn't the same either. She would have done these two at a time five years ago, but now, her feet barley making contact with the steps, she still touched each one. She turned to her left circling the pond. This mile track offered a varying terrain of steep hills, flat surfaces and gradual declines. JJ went in the direction that afforded her the best work out, straining her muscles to their max. She was about half way through when she noticed one of the ducks had a brightly colored piece of material in its bill. She half passed it off as garbage but as her foot hit the bridge that crossed the run off from the pond- a concrete slab with reinforcement rods sticking out of it acted as a filter for debris, JJ caught a glimpse of brown seaweed, or at least that is what it reminded her of, floating on the surface of the pond. She was about to ignore it when the "seaweed" looking stuff rolled in the water and a woman's head popped to the surface and pressed against the reinforcement rods. The thing that made JJ scream was not the fact that she just seen a dead body, she had seen many in her days. The fact that made her scream was this particular corpse was missing two vital elements, a body and a face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**This case is a real Headache**

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

**Chapter 2 **

"Yes, Hotch they arrived. Ok I'll see you then." JJ disconnected the call. She kept scanning the area looking for Emily. News vans and police cars pulled up, car doors slammed all around her as the quiet park became a three ring circus. JJ paced and then suddenly Emily was there. She held out a bag and JJ unzipped her hoodie. As soon as she had it off she told Emily to hold it up. She quickly took off the yellow top leaving the camisole on. She stuck her head into the pull over top Emily brought her from her own closet. She shook the skirt out next and slipped it over her jogging pants. Then she dropped the sweats in one quick movement kicking off her running shoes. She put on the shoes Emily brought, they were just a little too big but she would make do. JJ pulled the hair tie out of her hair and finger combed the ends of her blonde hair. "Did you bring a mirror?"

"No I didn't have a hand held." Emily gave JJ a tube of lipstick. JJ expertly applied it without seeing her reflection. "Looks great!" Emily was impressed. She wouldn't have been able to look that pulled together in less than five minutes and here JJ stood ready to face the press.

Rossi stepped out of the SUV wearing a pair of shades, jeans, button down shirt and black jacket. He looked at his watch and then down at the crime scene. Hotch closed the door on the other side, Reid and Morgan were close behind.

A police officer was questioning JJ, "How is it that you found the body?"

"Sir not a body just a head and I have an idea, but I want to talk to my team first."

"But really, you're the one who finds her head and it just happens that you are investigating this case. Don't you find that a little ironic?"

"Actually it would only be ironic if she had not found it. Because the person or persons who placed this head here wanted her to find it and since she did…."

"Reid, cut it off! I have a headache." All eyes were on him the moment the words where out of his mouth. "What?" Morgan shrugged his shoulders, unaware of what he just said.

Hotch looked at the scene. This was the second female head they found and there were three males. Obviously someone had been watching them and wanted this found by JJ. She had told Hotch she only started running everyday since this case started five weeks ago. He wondered why JJ picked up running again. Was there something about this case that made her change her behavior? He knew JJ worked out, usually in the gym or on her treadmill at home.

He looked at JJ as she spoke to the media. She was standing on a wide flat rock that lined the path. Hotch hid a smirk as he realized JJ made herself appear to be in a position of authority when she stepped up on that rock and he was proud of her. She knew how to control a situation. This was the second time this story leaked to the press. The first was a male victim. His decapitated head was delivered to his family. A nagging feeling in the pit of Hotch's stomach wouldn't leave him alone. Could this killer have his sights set on JJ?

Rossi walked over to Hotch. He put his hands on his hips, looking out into the clearing beyond the pond. Behind him was a small wooded area and beyond that was a road, easy access to someone who didn't want to carry a head through the park. "Same MO, as the others?" It was a question but Rossi wasn't looking for an answer.

Hotch gave him one anyway, "Yes her face was surgically removed."

"There's more."

"More what?" Hotch asked.

"Something else is bothering you. What is it?"

Hotch stood. Dave knew him better than anyone. It wasn't because he didn't want the team to know him; it was because Dave could relate to Hotch better than anyone could. Sometimes Dave could finish Hotch's sentences.

When he didn't answer Rossi said, "We will look out for her, and make sure she is safe." He looked at JJ as she walked away from the make shift platform and the press shouted questions at her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**Find Me In Cleveland Park **

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

**Chapter 3**

Back in the BAU Morgan opened a bottle of aspirin, popping two in his mouth and swallowing without water.

"You do know that drinking an 8 ounce glass of water will make that medication move through your body at a quicker rate and help with absorption of the medicine into the blood stream. Our bodies need…."

"Reid, what you need right now is a girlfriend, a pen pal or 1-800-dial a date. Find one and go talk to them, but do it now, before I kill you." Morgan rubbed his temples and Reid turned to leave.

He got three feet before Emily stood in front of him with a coffee mug in her hand. "What's wrong with him?"

"He has a headache. Did you ever call dial a date? Never mind, hey coffee, thanks!" Reid took the mug and walked away.

"That was my coffee….wait dial a date, what? On second thought I don't need to know."

Reid smiled to himself as he went to his desk, 'the trick to being sneaky is keep them guessing. And that worked like a charm.'

_

Hotch went to his office still concerned about JJ. He closed the door and leaned on it taking in a few deep breaths. A knock resonated through the door an inch from Hotch's ear. He fought the instinct to fly away from the door and sit at his desk. Instead he turned quietly and opened the door. JJ was on the other side. "Sir we are meeting in the round table room."

"I'll be right there."

"Hotch are you ok?"

"Yes hang on I will walk with you." Hotch put his brief case down by his desk and then he followed JJ down the loft. Everyone was there as they walked into the room. The board had all the details of the last murder on it and Reid stood looking at it with the marker still in his hand. They were about ready to get started when there was a knock on the open door, Garcia stood there with a file in her hand. "Sorry to interrupt but I think this has something to do with this case."

"Come in Garcia you belong with this team." Hotch extended his hand out to motion her into the front of the room.

She smiled at him. JJ looked up with her eyes only. What was going on with Hotch? He appreciated all of them but he wasn't one to talk about anything but the case when they had one and he wasn't the type to coddle his team. JJ was worried.

Garcia said, "A missing persons report just came in for a man 59 years old who went missing five days ago." Garcia taped a photo onto the white board. "Carrie Becker reported her father missing."

Hotch stood, "What is the address?"

"Fulton Street, Cleveland Park."

The team stood each of them gathering everything they needed and then heading to the SUV's.

********

A little while later the team was standing in front of Luke Becker's house. The street was quiet and the houses were as if they belonged in an area long gone. All of them were well kept maintained immaculately all but one. The Becker house was not in bad shape but things like potted plants and gardens were neglected and some of the porch could use painting. The grass, sparse in places wasn't cut before the last warm day and now it was brown in patches and overgrown in others. The blinds were tightly shut and when Reid looked up there was cardboard taped to the windows on the second floor. Reid wondered about that detail. They walked to the door and rang the doorbell.

A woman in her late twenties early thirties answered the door. Hotch and Rossi showed her their badges. She invited them inside. Lucy Becker sat in a corner of the living room. She looked scared to see them. Rossi approached her and introduced himself. He talked to Mrs. Becker for a few moments asking her about the last time she had seen Luke.

"He was going to a meeting?" She said.

Carrie heard her mother say that and she moved closer to her. Emily stepped in that direction also. "Mom where did Dad say he was going?" She squatted down next to her mother's chair holding her hand.

"I don't know dear, he told you this morning." Carrie stood taking two steps away from her mother; she put her hand in front of her mouth and hung her head. Rossi looked at her questioning, but Carrie didn't comment.

Suddenly the taped up windows made sense to Reid, as he looked at Mrs. Becker, then at Carrie. Lucy had a confused look on her face That Reid had seen countless times before. And the worry and stress that was evident on Carrie's face was expected, but the sadness in her eyes told Reid more about what was going on here than any words could.


	4. Chapter 4

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**Matters of the Heart and the Head**

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

**Chapter 4 **

Reid moved close to Carrie. She started talking as soon as he drew near. Tears threatened to take over as she said, "She doesn't even know he has been gone for five days. All I did was go to the store for bread and milk; I was gone 30 minutes tops. In that time she covered the windows in cardboard and he went outside to never come back." She broke down in tears. Spencer patted her on the back.

Lucy stood up looking at the crying Carrie. "I'm so sorry…I'm so…so sorry." She broke down and cried too. Emily intercepted her and had her sit down. She was talking softly to Lucy trying to put her at ease.

"Where is Carrie?" Carrie was standing in front of Lucy a few feet away. She moved closer to her mother.

"Mom, I'm right here."

Lucy looked up at Carrie's face. "Where is Carrie?"

Reid moved between them trying to protect Carrie from the pain of having her mother not know her.

The door bell rang and Carrie looked over her shoulder. Morgan moved to the door. "Are you expecting anyone?"

Carrie shook her head. Hotch looked out the window in time to see a delivery driver getting into a white van. Morgan opened the door and a package was sitting on the stoop. He recognized it as being the same shape and size as the others.

Reid took Carrie's arm and pulled her off to the side, out of her mother's view and further away from the door. Something in his eyes made Carrie feel he understood what she was going through.

"How long has she been like this?"

"Two years, it's dementia but she has had mental issues as long as I can remember."

He licked his lips and Carrie watched his reaction as she spoke about her childhood.

"My father tried to keep all of this from me and my sister but it got to be too much for him and eventually he spent more and more time away from home."

Spencer looked at her as she almost described his life, with a few changes here and there but basically she grew up with an ill mother, and an absent father. One difference she had a sibling. "Tell me about your sister." It wasn't relevant and she had gone over all of this before with Emily, but Hotch had moved to the porch when Morgan opened the door and Reid had seen the box, he was distracting Carrie as his team checked it out.

"Susan is 11 years older than me and a lot like my mother, when she couldn't manage…" Carrie took a breath and Reid could see the stress on her face. She is so beautiful he thought. He wished he could fix things for her.

"There isn't anything else to say. As soon as Susan got to be old enough she was gone."

"When was the last time you saw her?" Reid hated to bring up these painful memories and as a tear rolled down Carrie's face he couldn't help himself he brushed it away.

She looked at him, her blue eyes burning into his soul.

Carrie lowered her head answering in a whisper. "I never saw her again."

She heard David Rossi's voice at the door and turned towards it. Reid tried to stop her by reaching his hand out but he wasn't quick enough. Carrie saw Hotch pull a bloody towel from the box.

She ran to the door and looked down, Rossi tried to stop her but she saw her father's head. "No! No! No!" She turned away, almost running into Reid. The sight of her father's remains and the sudden turn made the room spin. The last thing Carrie saw was the concerned look on Spencer Reid's face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**My Work**

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

**Chapter 5**

Reid reached out catching her just in time. Gently he lowered her to the floor sinking down with her. "Carrie?" He touched her face and she didn't respond.

JJ stood over them and he looked up at her. JJ could see something in Reid's eyes. He felt a connection to this woman. Emily brought a towel and handed it to Reid who put it against Carrie's cheek and forehead. A few minutes later she started to come to. Reid held her. She was resting half way over his lap, as he held the damp towel to her head.

An Ambulance arrived and Carrie tried to get up but a wave of dizziness stopped her from going further than sitting.

.

"I don't need paramedics."

"Carrie it's not for you, they are going to take your mom to the hospital."

Suddenly Carrie stood up, "No she needs me to take care of her!" She fell against Reid. He stood next to her, he steadied her saying, "You can't do that."

"Why not?" Carrie was almost yelling now.

"Because you can't stand up."

"I can to. I'm alright!"

Reid let go of her briefly and she pitched forward again but he was there to support her. He picked her up and carried her to a bedroom down the hall. She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Please Dr. Reid allow me to go to my mom."

.

As soon as he was in the room, he set her down on the bed. "Just sit here for a minute. I will take you to her in a moment. And please call me Spencer." He sat on the edge of the bed next to her.

Carrie looked at him, tears rolled down her face. He brushed them away again with the back of his hand. "I…" Reid opened his mouth to continue but words failed him, something that didn't happen often. He swallowed and took a deep breath shaking his head. His hand had stilled on her cheek and he didn't move it away, she lifted her hand and placed it over his. The touch of her palm and the gentle way she curled her fingers around his, made him bold.

.

He opened his mouth to try again and this time he was successful. "I know what you are going through. I don't know what it is like to lose a parent like this, but I do know how it feels to have one who isn't really there at times. My mother has paranoid schizophrenia, and she is in a sanitarium in Las Vegas, and has been since I was 18."

Reid's voice cracked as he talked about his mother, besides the team, he hasn't told anyone. In fact he hadn't had a reason to tell anyone. She had moved his hand to her lap but yet she still held on to him. Carrie thought about the compassion she seen in his eyes and she knew he did understand.

.

JJ knocked on the open door, "Reid they are ready to take Mrs. Becker to the hospital."

Carrie sat up and Reid said, "Are you ok? Take it slow." He added when she moved to get off the bed.

Back in the living room Hotch looked at Reid and Spencer shrugged his shoulders. "Take her to the hospital and get her checked out and Mrs. Becker settled."

"Hey 'the her' is standing right here, and I don't need to be checked out at the hospital."

Reid looked at Carrie, this was the first decisive thing she said and he was impressed with her strength.

"Either way I insist that you do get looked at. I can be flexible enough to let you do it after your mother is settled but if you want to argue I will just call an ambulance."

She finally agreed.

In the hospital Carrie's mother was admitted and she actually seemed calm. The social worker came and talked to Carrie about a program for people like her mom. When she was finally done a doctor gave Carrie an exam and a clean bill of health, he wrote her a prescription for a mild sedative and told her to get some rest.

As soon as she was out of the ER Carrie tore the prescription to pieces. "What are you doing?" Reid asked her.

"I don't take meds, and definitely narcotics. I know what he said but I don't! I have seen my mother medicated to many times." He nodded. He was glad she didn't.

"Where can I take you?"

Carrie said he could drive her to her parent's house. He did and as soon as they pulled up to the place she got out. He did too, wanting to make sure she was ok. She stood on the walkway staring at the house. He stood next to her not sure what she was doing.

"I'm sorry. Can we go for a walk? Oh, maybe we won't be able to; I don't want to keep you from your work."

.

Reid thought about it. He was going to say, 'you are my work' but he knew that would be insensitive. Besides he wanted to be here with her. He was getting tired of meeting women he was interested in, in this setting. He knew though, he would never meet anyone outside of work since all he did was work. "It's alright where do you want to go?"

They walked for a few blocks and neither of them spoke. She surprised him after two more blocks when she took his arm. He held her securely and they walked some more. He let her be the judge as to where they would go and how far they would walk.


	6. Chapter 6

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**Beautiful Faces**

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 6**

Carrie didn't say anything and taking his arm seemed so natural. Before she knew it they were at the creek. They stood watching the moonlight reflect off the water. Finally she said. "I loved it here when I was a child. I would play by this creek for hours."

Spencer tried to picture it, but he couldn't imagine her as a little girl. He turned towards her looking at her face. Her light brown hair hung to her shoulders. She had beautiful blue eyes that he could get lost in. Her heart shaped face made him think of a porcelain doll. He got carried away by the setting they were in and the fact that he was so attracted to her He didn't think when he lowered his mouth to hers, he just let his heart lead. She wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning into him. He placed his hands on her waist and when she moved closer he wrapped his arms around her holding her tightly. He kissed her softly, at first gauging her response to him before he deepened the kiss. As soon as the reality of this settled on him he pulled back. "I'm so sorry! I know better."

Tears sprung to her eyes and she couldn't stop them from falling.

He gathered her back into his arms. 'Screw this' he thought, he wanted her and the hell with the consequences. "I don't want to take advantage of you. You are vulnerable right now and I shouldn't be doing this, because you can get hurt."

"Why?" She asked him.

"Because you are not thinking clearly now and one day you will realize that you made a decision to do something you shouldn't have."

"No Spencer I won't regret this." She stood on her toes and kissed him.

.

After a while of just holding each other and kissing Reid suggest they walk back to the house. Once there she took a deep breath. She held his hand as they went inside.

"Are you ok?" Spencer put his hand on her shoulder. She began to sob and he held her close.

"I can't stay here, but I don't have anywhere else to go." Carrie felt like she would sleep in her car first before she would spend the night here alone.

"Gather some thing together and I will take you to a place you can get some rest."

**xXx**

He looked at his bride. She was lying on their bed and he wished she would talk to him. "I missed you so much. Soon honey everything will be perfect once again." He laid the strips on her body smoothing them out the best he could. He would make her beautiful once again. He could smell death in the room. It was a scent that never went away and the corpse was almost ready. "Don't worry darling it will be alright." He kissed his bride, before he went back to his workshop.

**xXx**

A few minutes later Carrie was in the SUV with Spencer as he drove to his apartment. He was glad this case was local and he could do this. But a voice in his brain said, 'This is not right, taking her to your place.' Spencer drowned it out by talking to Carrie.

He asked her questions that revolved around her likes and dislikes. He asked if she was a reader. Had he seen her old apartment in Chicago, he would have known the once thing Carrie loved more than old movies, was old books. She told him about her favorite reads and about her dog, Tassel, she had in the early years. She told him about moving back to Virginia after her father had gotten pneumonia and needed her to take care of Lucy. She got quiet for a moment and Reid tried to direct the conversation away from her family, childhood and any other painful memories.

.

She broke her silence with a question of her own. "What was college like for you? I mean I can understand high school would have been rough. You said you were 12 when you graduated?"

"Yes, and college was alright. On one hand my professors loved me but not right away, most of them thought they were going to have to baby sit me and they were not happy about that. Some of them thought it would be a good idea to prove that I belonged there trying to challenge me. Sadly most of the classes I could have taught by the time I was halfway through them. Socially I didn't have anyone to relate to." Reid thought, 'before the team he didn't relate to anyone socially.'

.

He pulled up in front of his apartment. Only one other person had seen the inside of it and that was Morgan. Suddenly Reid was nervous. He thought of his place, 'would she be applaud by it? Would she be insulted that he brought her here?'

Carrie looked at him as he sat in silence. "Spencer you don't have to do this. You can take me back home."

"No, Carrie I don't want you to go through that alone. But would you rather I take you to a hotel?"

"No Spencer. I would be grateful for the company and I don't mind staying at your place. This is your place, isn't it?" He nodded

.

The inside of his apartment shocked her. She had expected it to look like a typical Bachelor's apartment with dirty socks in balls on the floor and dishes in the sink but instead it was neat and clean. It was cluttered with piles of books and papers that he long out grew room for on his bookshelves, which lined every wall in every room.

Reid pulled his blankets off of his bed, took a pillow and threw all of it on the couch. He then made his bed with fresh blankets and fluffed the remaining pillow.

"You can sleep here."

She interrupted from the doorway to his bedroom, "I am not going to sleep in your bed."

"Well unless you want to stay out there on the couch with me then that is fine too." He went to the living room and sat down. She followed, sitting down next to him. Reid was unaware what he just invited her to do. He hadn't been thinking that he was asking her to sleep with him.

She took his hand in hers and said, "Thank you for all of this." She kissed his cheek quickly before going to his bedroom.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**_

_**The Heart Will Do What the Mind Regrets**_

_**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**_

_**Thanks, **_

_**Cinny**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Chapter 7**_

He came into their bedroom again. "Sweetheart I love you and it's time, time for you to come back to me." He pulled the damp towel away from her face. He peeled back the rotting flesh, discarding it into a burn can. He pulled the face of his last victim from the saline solution. You will be beautiful again, honey just you wait and see. He placed the flesh on her smoothing it into place. "There you are honey. Feel better?" He lowered his mouth to hers kissing her lightly.

As he moved away from the bed her eyes moved back and forth, wildly. She opened her mouth to scream but no sound came out. She moved her right hand in a familiar pattern tracing it on the sheet, as she had done so many times before. He smiled at her as he got undressed, ready to climb into bed with his beautiful wife.

**xXx**

Spencer laid on top of the covers in his living room trying hard to go to sleep. The problem was the time, it was only 9pm. Or so he tried to convince himself it was the time that kept him awake. He could hear her crying earlier. He longed to go to her but he knew she needed some space. And now here he was lying on the couch tossing and turning trying to get comfortable and all he kept thinking about was the woman in his bedroom. 'Was it hot in here?' he wondered. He rolled on to his back and then to his left side looking at his apartment door. When that wasn't comfortable he flipped to his right facing the back of the couch, but that seemed to smother him. He rolled onto his back again putting his hand under his pillow. He wasn't going to get any sleep. His bedroom had gotten quiet and he was glad that she could rest. He sighed and stared at the ceiling.

.

Carrie had let the tears fall and now she lay in the bed pulling the covers around her. His bed smelled like fresh linens but she could smell him in here. His unique sent wafting from his mattress every time she moved making her want to be near him. She could hear him out there and she knew he wasn't sleeping. Every move he made caused her to want to go to him. Then he sighed. That was it; she needed to be there with him. He told her if she couldn't sleep here, she could join him on the couch. She knew he wasn't actually giving her an open invitation, because he would have been in here with her if he wanted that. She froze near his door. What would he think if she suddenly appeared in his living room? What if his restlessness was from the couch being uncomfortable?

'Damn it Spencer you need to get that line of thinking out of your head.' He was talking to himself and that sealed her fate. She opened his door slowly and stepped into the dark hall. He sat up and looked over the back of the couch. She had on grey cotton oversized T-shirt with a pink number ten on it and grey cotton shorts with two thin pink stripes down each side. She looked adorable and he thought a t-shirt couldn't be more accurate she was defiantly what someone would call a ten. Had she been around when that phrase was coined she would have been the reason for it.

He had on a black stripped T-shirt and black sweat pants, he was grateful for the baggy pants because this could lead to a very embarrassing moment. He began to rattle off the Periodic table, H Hydrogen, O Oxygen, N Nitrogen, C Carbon: Air and Water. Great just what he needed a deep breath and a cold shower!

"Is everything alright?" He asked when he could find his voice again.

"Yes, thank you." Carrie walked to the front and he swung his legs to the floor.

He nervously licked his lips and said, "Do you want to sit down?" His voice was squeaky and he hoped she hadn't noticed the difference. He ran his sweaty palms down his pant legs.

She knelt on the couch placing one leg on either side of his thighs, sitting on his knees putting her hands on his shoulders looking into his eyes.

He didn't say anything as he placed his hands low on her hips. She kept her eyes on him waiting for him to do something. He glanced at her mouth; her lips were lightly moist and parted. He could tell she was drawling in a shaky breath, the same thing he struggled to do. She watched him stare at her mouth. He swallowed, and then bit his bottom lip. Was he nervous or was he about to tell her to get up?

.

Spencer moved in slowly and when his mouth made contact with hers she closed her eyes. He kissed her tenderly. And as she responded he put his hand at the back of her head making the kiss deeper and urgent. With his free hand and a slight lift onto his toes he slid her hips closer to him, suddenly not concerned with embarrassment. He put his hand inches above her tailbone, holding her close to him. She broke from the kiss but she tangled her finger into his hair as he kissed her neck. She was rocking slowly on his lap and he let a moan escape his lips as he placed another kiss on her mouth. It didn't take long for both of them to be out of their clothing, greedily grasping at one another until he laid her down on his couch, entering her in one swift smooth movement.

.

Twenty minutes later, his heart rate racing and her chest heaving along with his as she placed tiny kisses along the underside of his jaw, his cell phone rang. He supported his weight onto his right elbow, next to her head. He reached up above her onto the side table and grabbed his phone. He pressed a button and said "Reid"

"Man where the hell are you?" Morgan shouted into his phone.

"I'm….I'm at…home." He gasped in between the words still trying to slow his heart rate.

"Reid what is the matter, why are you out of breath? And where is Carrie Becker?"

Reid didn't move. Carrie could hear Morgan because he was shouting. She whispered, "You can tell him I am here."

"She didn't want to stay there alone so she is in my living room right now."

The line got completely quiet for a few moments; Reid had thought they were disconnected. But then Morgan spoke again, "Oh!"

"Morgan…." Reid said his name in warning tone so that he knew not to say anything further.

"Call me back when you are not busy."

"Morgan I can talk now." He moved away from Carrie but not by much. She turned onto her side and he lay down next to her. She pulled the blankets around them, touching his bare chest.

"Rossi and JJ are missing. Have you talked to either of them since this evening?"

Reid sat up, he put his feet on the floor and Carrie sat up too. She touched his back and placed her cheek against his shoulder. "The last time I talked to either of them was when Hotch told me to take Carrie to the hospital with her mother. And then I talked with Hotch again later when he told me to get some rest. What's going on Morgan?"

Reid could hear a car door slam and Morgan said, "I'm on my way to your apartment now."


	8. Chapter 8

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**The Gallows **

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

Chapter 8

"JJ…JJ, wake up." Rossi was pleading with her. How did this happen? How did he let them get into this much trouble? "JJ you have to wake up now!"

JJ stirred and then she could hear Rossi's voice just above a whisper, pleading with her. 'Did I fall asleep on the jet?' her own voice echoed inside of her brain, all of this seemed like she was still dreaming. She rolled onto her side and felt a sharp pain in her lower back. She was jolted into reality by that and she sat up, her head swirling and a wave of nausea and dizziness threatened to send her back into her dream land.

"JJ, are you alright?" Rossi knew she was still dazed from the stun gun but she would quickly recover now that she was awake.

What happened came flooding back to her. A contact in the media called her, telling her about a tip. Rossi was driving her home, after Hotch had told them to get some rest that they would pick this back up in the morning. She told Rossi about it and they decided to check it out. One quick call to Hotch and they were at the jogging park. They waited for a half hour sitting in the SUV. Finally Rossi got out from behind the wheel and that was the mistake he made putting them into this position. As soon as he did a man stepped out from the tree line holding an automatic weapon at JJ as she sat in the passenger side of the car.

"Put your weapon on the windshield and step around the front." Rossi did as he was told and the man had motioned for JJ to step out using two fingers in a come here gesture.

Rossi inched closer as the man told him to. JJ moved, following his orders and he told Rossi to step behind her. The gun was inches from JJ's face and he told Rossi to remove her gun and drop it. "Now come here!" Rossi stepped in closer and when he was within arms length the man pulled the stun gun from his pocket and hit Rossi with it. Then he did the same to JJ.

JJ felt the area below her ribcage and winced. Her jaw hurt and she realized she had a considerably large bruise there. She was positive it would be black and blue. She didn't know that after both of them were unconscious he had hit her.

Quickly he worked binding Rossi's wrists and ankles. He hoisted him into the SUV and then he went to JJ. She moaned and he hit her hard with the end of the gun. He took them to his workshop leaving Rossi bound and tossing JJ to the concrete floor like she was a sack of potatoes. Three days of nothing to eat and only water would make them ready. His wife would need that beautiful flesh again soon. He worried about this woman though. She wasn't the right type, if he couldn't use her she still had to die, she saw him and it would be such a waste, her skin was amazingly blemish free.

Her eyes went to Rossi and she said, "I'm sorry."

"JJ this is not your fault! Come and untie me." JJ struggled to get up and once she did she leaned against the wall. Her eyes settled on a wooden structure behind the chair Rossi was sitting on. She followed the line of the two by four studs, looking up to the ceiling. "Oh God!" JJ sank to the floor again crying. Rossi slid around on the chair and looked behind him. He looked up and saw the angled blade. A guillotine was built near the back of the room blood coated the blade and most of the floor around it. Rossi sank against the back of the chair taking in a couple of deep breaths.


	9. Chapter 9

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**It doesn't matter what's on the inside, it's the outside that counts**

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

**Chapter 9**

Reid went into the bathroom when Carrie was in his room getting dressed. He smiled at himself in the mirror. The voice was back again almost instantly, 'you will be sorry you did that.' "No I will never be sorry." He said out loud. He was wearing a pair of brown trousers and a white button down shirt, he skipped the tie and he didn't have on shoes or socks.

Carrie put on a turtle neck and then was about to put the pull over sweater on when she realized that Agent Morgan would think she was trying to hide something with the turtle neck. She took it off and just put on the sweater. She pulled her hair up and slipped into a pair of jeans.

When she came into the living room and when Reid saw her he held his breath. He was putting on his socks and shoes but he stopped and looked at her. She looked beautiful and he told her so. He kissed her and hugged her tightly, but when they heard a car door slam outside she pulled out of his arms and sat down on the arm chair next to the couch.

.

Morgan was at the door seconds later. He told Reid all her knew about Rossi and JJ and then he waited until Reid gathered his things.

Carrie stood and Reid held her giving her a kiss, not worried about Morgan standing in the room. He didn't care he was developing strong feelings for her and he hoped she was for him. "You can stay here is you want to. Use my car in the morning to go see your mom and I will call you later."

"Spencer I think I would like to go home. You don't mind if I take your car?"

"No I don't I have the SUV and I can come get my car after this is over. Are you sure you're going to be ok?"

"Yes I'm not afraid any longer." She kissed him quickly and then she went to get her bag off of his bed. Spencer was shocked she had already packed up her things and was ready to leave. He tried not to listen to that voice as it said, 'I told you so, you're going to be sorry.' He was wondering if he was losing his mind.

Carrie said, "Talk to you later." And she slipped out the door. He smiled briefly but then he remembered two of his loved ones were missing and he almost shoved Morgan out of the door. "Let's go find them!"

*******

"What is the difference between these women and the men that were abducted?" Emily already knew the answer the men's heads were delivered to the family but the women had there faces cut off and their heads were dumped. But why?

"He is showing remorse for his male victims and nothing for his females." Reid said in a tone that sounded as if he was talking about a normal daily routine.

"Ok so he hates woman. But what else, what is the common factor?" Hotch asked.

"Besides being women there isn't anything that links them. They have different economic back grounds, different hair, and eye color, nothing suggests they knew each other or frequented the same places." Morgan added.

Reid stood and looked at the board. The pictures were almost all head shots and he went through each of them one by one. He ran from the room and into Garcia's office. "Can you get me that video footage of Penny Almasity?" The first victim.

"Why do you always ask if I _can_ get you the footage you know I can. The question should be _will_, I get you the footage?" Penelope said.

He kissed her on the top of her head quickly as soon as he saw the woman on the screen.

.

"Is that it? That's all I get? Figures it is always love 'em and leave 'em. Reid I am not your wham bam thank you ma'am kind of gal, get back here and tell me what is going on"

Reid was already out of the door and running to the round table room. "Gah. Well thank you very much, tease!" She yelled. "Next time you come in here you better be bringing me JJ and Rossi!" She added silently, "Please!"

.

Reid went to the board. "I know what ties them together." He wrote something down and then stood looking at the pictures again.

"Are you going to tell us what it is?" Morgan asked annoyed.

"One minute." He was mouthing some words to himself.

"Reid, what do you see?" Hotch said impatiently and yet a little hopeful.

"All of these woman and the men have one thing in common, they are more than 10 lbs over weight."

"So, most people are, not everyone can be thin like a model or like you Reid."

"It doesn't matter to me but it does to him." Reid said. "He is after their skin."

"He is wearing it?" Emily asked.

"I don't think he is wearing it, quite the opposite he is making someone else wear it. That is why he is takes such care to surgically remove the faces of the woman and not the men."

"So why abduct the men?"

Reid turned around and looked at Emily.

"Oh no, not…because there is more of it." Emily cringed at her own words.

"So you think this unsub is trying to change the appearance of someone by covering them with the skin of another person?" Emily hoped to God that Reid was off base. But in her gut she knew he was on the right track.

"Actually muscle, bone structure, cartilage, ligaments, and tendons shape the way we look, skin is just our waterproofing."

"Waterproofing? Reid do you have a point?" Morgan had heard enough.

"I think he is trying to cover something, a disfigurement."

Hotch pressed the line to Garcia's office, "I need you to look up any accidents that involved disfigurements in the last three years, rule out men focus on women and mostly facial disfigurements."

"Sir Jan Lessing 29 was injured when kerosene was spilled on her and ignited the cigarette she had in her mouth, according to her husband who was able to put out the fire but not before Jan was burned badly and spent a year in a burn facility. Her skin gaffs were largely unsuccessful and she also suffered extensive damage to her voice box. Forty percent of her upper body was burned and scared."

"Do you have an address, Garcia?"

"461 Edmond Street. Oh no!"

"What is it?" Emily asked.

"That is six blocks from Carrie Becker's house."

.

Reid's eyes got huge when he heard that. He dialed Carrie's cell number, only to be sent right away to voice mail. He bit his bottom lip and tears stung his eyes. "Carrie, please make sure you stay inside I am sending someone over to your place to make sure you are ok. If you get this message please call me back."

Hotch looked at Reid, "You go to her house."

"No I want to be there to get Rossi and JJ!"

"Reid I am not arguing with you, go get Carrie." Hotch couldn't put Reid into this mess when he knew his mind would be somewhere else he could not risk the life of another agent.

Reid looked at his watch it was 8:15 in the morning and they had spent the whole night trying to find JJ and Rossi, he hoped it wasn't too late and he prayed they would all be safe and sound.


	10. Chapter 10

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**In The End It All Comes Down To A Toss Of A Coin**

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

**Chapter 10**

Reid went to Carrie's house, it was locked up tightly and his car was parked on her street behind hers. He banged on the door and when no one answered he tried her cell again. Still no answer there either. 'Oh God!' He was beginning to panic. He wished Morgan was here, he would break the door down. Think Spencer think. He ran to the potted plants and moved one, there was the key. He opened the door and the place was quiet. He had his gun out and he moved slowly through each room, nothing was out of the ordinary. He went back into her kitchen and then he saw them, his keys on the counter and an envelope under it. 'Gideon.' The voice haunted him. He shook his head and held the letter afraid to open it up.

.

Hotch Morgan and Emily and a sea of police officers waited outside of the Lessing house as soon as Hotch gave the order Morgan kicked in the door. They cleared the first floor immediately and then shots rang out from the second floor. A few minutes later one of the local police officers lie dead and Philip Lessing bled out moments later, shot by another local cop. "Where are they!" Morgan shouted at him as he gulped and gurgled taking his last bloody breath.

"You got to see this." Emily yelled from the master bedroom. She covered her mouth and nose, trying to avoid the smell, which was impossible.

Morgan came into the room and looked at the body in the bed. "God this is what he was doing, covering a corpse?"

Jan Lessing could hear voices and she tried to open her eyes. The fatigue was getting to her and she felt like she was near death. How many times did she hope for it, pray for it and now when it was near by all she could think of was 'someone could save me.'

She did the only thing she could she started moving her fingers.

"Morgan she moved!"

Morgan spun around and looked at the woman, nothing. He was about to tell Emily she imagined it when the woman's hand moved again.

She traced an s over and over then she traced an o and another s.

Morgan said, "S.O.S. she is writing s distress signal." He began to pull away the dead skin from her face. The burn scars stopped him at first but when she opened her eyes he looked into them and said, "It's going to be alright, your safe now."

Emily lifted her hand she looked at her fingers each one had a rough callous on the tip. "How long do you think she was drawling that S.O.S.?"

"From the moment she came here." Morgan surmised.

Reid's hands were shaking and tears stung his eyes as he opened the letter.

"Dear Spencer, I am putting my mother into a nursing home and for the first time in my life I finally feel free. Thank you for everything you did for me. I know I can move on with my life now. I am going to sell the house and as you read this I am on my way back to Chicago. You told me last night that you shouldn't have kissed me, that I would regret it one day. I don't and I never will. Kissing you and spending the night with you was the best thing I ever did. I love you Spencer Reid and I don't regret it. –Carrie"

Reid sunk to the floor sitting with his back against the kitchen cabinets. She wasn't sorry she kissed him, she didn't regret making love, and she loves him, but yet she, like everyone else he loved, left. Tears rolled down his face, she didn't regret it but he did.

.

Not one corpse was recovered, the skin and tissue taken off of Jan Lessing was going for DNA testing. Emily was praying it didn't turn up to belong to their loved ones. He had to have had a place he worked. The house was not where he did it and they were frantically trying to find JJ and Rossi. Jan Lessing made it to the hospital where she slipped into a comma and died later that night. Carrie never returned any of Reid's phone calls and the team was in a crisis as time ticked by and they worried that if JJ and Rossi were alive how long could they stay that way without food and water. Every resource was being utilized but yet in the end, did it really matter?

THE END

Song quote comes from Linkin Park "in the end" watch for a one shot story later.


	11. Chapter 11

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**The end or was it…**

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

**Chapter 11 **

"Rossi there is one bottle of water left. Take a couple of sips you need it." They were both weak and JJ could see the dull look in Rossi's eyes as he opened them to look at her.

"No JJ you drink it."

"Rossi I am not going to let you die you either drink this or I am going to dump it down your throat."

He looked at her as she sat on the floor next to him. He knew she would do it too. So he grabbed the bottle after sitting up, he took two quick sips then handed it to her. She did the same thing. He gathered JJ into his arms as she put the cap back on the water. He kissed the top of her head. "They are going to find us and stop this."

JJ wanted to have the faith Rossi had but she was starting to doubt she would ever see her family again. She cried and he rubbed her arm as she leaned against his chest. They both fell asleep like that conserving their energy.

.

It has been five days and the team worked relentlessly trying to find them. It seemed like Philip Lessing did nothing but kidnap women and men off the streets, killing them, covering his wife with their skin. He didn't have a job, a bank account, a credit card, nothing. It was as if he didn't exist. Their house was paid for, belonging to Philips family for two generations. The settlement Jan received from her accident apparently paid the bills. Stacks of cash were found throughout the house. Philip could have lived like that for a long, long time.

.

Garcia was clicking keys at her computer while Reid stood in her office reading a file. They were all on edge and understandable so, but Reid seemed to be on the verge of loosing it.

"Garcia, what about storage units?" Reid asked

"Already checked them sweetie there is nothing in either of their names." Garcia had jumped through every hoop, gone through every door, looked in ever corner of these people's lives trying to find something anything that would point the team in the right direction. One thing had not come back yet, she prayed it would help them.

.

"Reid, are you done with that file yet?" Morgan said from the doorway.

"Morgan, back the hell off." Reid pushed past Morgan dropping the file on the desk, it slid off and the contents spilled all over the floor.

Morgan held his hands in the air, and Garcia stood. "Baby doll you need to help him get through this and not push his buttons. This is hard on all of us but it is even worse for Reid because she did that to him." She helped Morgan pick up the file looking at the pictures briefly before putting them back inside the folder.

"I didn't say anything. I only asked for the file. I want them back too." Morgan was defensive and Garcia sat back down.

"Look Morgan, Reid isn't experienced with women like you. He had real feelings for her and she left, left the same way his father and Gideon did, without a real explanation."

.

Garcia's computer beeped. She moved the chair to it and then she said, "Morgan I got them."

Morgan stepped into the room completely looking at the computer, "Baby girl marry me."

"You set the date, I am ready, been practicing writing Mrs. Derek Morgan since I meet you."

He wanted to laugh, he really did but he knew he couldn't, not now. And not until he was positive JJ and Rossi were ok and they weren't too late.

*******

She wondered if it was too late. Was it the wrong choice? Fear made her do it, but Carrie didn't want to live in fear any longer. She stepped on the plane taking her back to Virginia.

.

"Are you going to kill us? Come on what are you waiting for! JJ screamed at the door, pounding her fist against it. When there wasn't an answer she went to the guillotine pulling the rope sending it crashing down. "Come on you bastard doesn't that sound make you excited?"

Rossi worried that JJ was loosing her mind, and worse she was exerting herself, they need to conserve energy as much as possible. "JJ, please sit down."


	12. Chapter 12

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

Chapter 12

"Over here!" Hotch screamed. The overgrowth in the yard made it easy to hide it.

Emily took a look around. She caught a glimpse of Reid Standing near a local police officer. What could be going through his mind now? They never thought things would turn out this way.

Reid looked up at the house as Morgan and Hotch cut the chain off the outside cellar doors. These old houses had them, years ago and they acted as storm cellars but mostly made to be bomb shelters, long since forgotten about or sealed off by the current owners. But this house and this cellar, it was used for something completely different. Reid took one more look up at the house and the cardboard that was taped to the second floor windows.

.

She had the cab take her to the house and she got the shock of her life. The street was blocked off by police cars. "What the hell?" Carrie said out loud.

"This is as far as I can take you, lady." She got out and paid the driver running down the street. A cop stopped her. "That's my house!" He didn't want to hear it; he made her say behind the barricade.

.

The noise made JJ stop her outburst. She backed up to the wall.

"JJ, Rossi!" Morgan yelled.

"Down here!" Rossi hollered. He took a deep breath looking at JJ who had broken down in tears.

They cut the lock on the door and got both of them out of the room. On the other side was a smaller room that turned the most seasoned officer's stomach as they all took a look. Hanging from hooks were stripped corpses, blood covered everything. A burn barrel was vented with cheap piping that led to the surface. The stench was unbearable.

.

As they loaded them into the ambulance Reid walked out to the front of the house.

"Spencer! What is going on?" Carrie shouted from across the street. Reid stopped in his tracks stunned.


	13. Chapter 13

**Heads I Win Tails You Lose**

**As always I do not own any part of ABC, CBS, or Criminal Minds. For entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to person's living, dead or fictional is purely coincidental.**

**Thanks, **

**Cinny**

Chapter 13

Spencer saw Carrie standing at the barricade and his heart felt like it stopped, then kicked back into hyper gear. He took a couple of deep breaths before walking over to her. He pulled her to one of the SUV's holding her by the elbow a little too tightly, "I thought you were in Chicago." He couldn't keep the pain from his voice.

"I was but I realized something, I was running away, just like my sister did. I don't want to do that anymore. But what is going on here? Why are you here, and the police?" She reached out to touch him but he took a step back. Hurt registered in her eyes and she struggled to hold back tears.

He couldn't let her touch him. Hearing her call his name melted his heart. All the emotions he was feeling came flooding back to him the moment he saw her. But so did the heartache of having her leave, and the total lack of communication felt like a knife in his heart. "Carrie, do you really not know what happened to you sister? Or what was going on in your back yard?"

"No I haven't seen her since she left. What do you mean?"

Reid looked at Carrie closely; he knew she was telling the truth. He took another deep breath and told her all of it.

.

"Your sister changed her name to Janet Lessing shortly after she left home. She spent some time in California where she was arrested." Reid left out the part that she was arrested for prostitution. There wasn't a point in telling her that detail other than to hurt her. Even though he wished she felt half of what he did, he would never intentionally do anything to make her cry. "She unofficially lived with that name until she eventually married the man she ran away with, all those years ago. His name is Philip Lessing. Two years ago she was badly burned in a fire. She spent a year and a half in recovery going through multiple operations and skin graphs which were largely unsuccessful. Her husband moved her into his family's house six blocks from here." Reid let the information sink in before he continued, he knew this last part was going to devastate Carrie and part of him didn't want to be the one to give her this information.

.

"Where is she now Spencer?" Carrie looked as if she was about to break, a tiny bit of hope shone through her concern. "What do you mean largely unsuccessful?"

Spencer took a deep breath. How do you tell someone the sister they thought they lost forever and now found once again is in fact gone for good?

"You sister was severely burned."

Carrie's mind latched on to one word 'was' but she refused to let her heart believe it.

.

Reid continued, seeing the look on Carrie's face he knew she was working this through but not really accepting it. He had to finish before shock took over and she stopped listening. "Philip Lessing was using your storm cellar to murder and skin his victims trying to fix and cover up Jan's injuries, the trauma your sister went through proved to be too much for her. Your father was also his victim, and we have reason to believe…" Reid paused he could see recognition beginning to enter into her brain as she put the pieces of the puzzle together.

"What are you saying, my father was apart of this? There is no way. No! No way he could have…" Carrie fell to her knees, "Oh my God! Oh my God, Spencer all that time she was seeing men in our yard and women without faces. I didn't… I didn't believe her, thought she was just…crazy! She was trying to block the view, she saw them! My mother saw them!"

.

Reid looked up at the second floor windows, then back down at Carrie. He squatted next to her. He wanted to gather her into his arms and kiss away this pain and all her tears but he couldn't do it, because even though she was hurting, she was the cause of his current heartbreak. He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed lightly.

.

Carrie looked at him. She needed him to hold her but she knew she had hurt him by leaving. All his phone calls sounded like he really was in pain. She hated to ignore them. And a couple of times she thought about calling him. 'What am I doing? Reach out to him, kiss him and remind him of what he was feeling then.' She scolded herself, but yet she couldn't act on her thoughts. He had to want her and right now the way he put distance between them even when she had a breakdown and needed him desperately, she wasn't sure if Spencer ever would want her again.

*******

JJ and Rossi spent a week in the hospital and both of them were recovering well. The case was wrapped up. Philip Lessing had killed 14 people in all, or that is how many partial bodies were recovered, He only developed his pattern towards the end and the team believed that is when Carrie's father got involved. It explained why the women were discarded like garbage and the men were delivered to their families. Emily had a theory that the women represented Carrie's mother, and the behavior represented what he felt as betrayal, thinking Lucy had abandoned the family with the on set of her mental illness. With the men, it was as if he was trying to say here is the head of your family, you will be lost without him.

Hotch agreed. And after each piece of paperwork was finished he made sure his entire team stayed away from the BAU and took sometime to recover.

.

Reid was at home lying on his couch, staring at the ceiling. Memories flooded his mind and with each caress and each kiss came the stroke of a pen that ended all of it. The words of her letter haunted him along with the scent of her hair, the touch of her hands, and the taste of her mouth. He swore he could still smell her perfume in his bed and he couldn't be in his living room without seeing her. His daydream or more like mental torture was interrupted by the buzz of his doorbell. Reid stood and looked through the peephole. He gasped when he saw her.

.

"Spencer, can I please come in? I know you are there I just want to talk to you."

She waited and right when she was about to give up and leave she heard the lock turn. He opened the door and stood off to the side allowing her to come inside. He closed the door turning to look at her. She stopped at his couch looking down at it. The memories of that night so fresh so vivid that her hands shook and soon it spread from there till the rest of her body was quaking, she swore he could see this and she willed herself to stop. She shook her head trying to clear it before turning to face him. "I'm sorry Spencer. I shouldn't have done that to you. You were right I have plenty to regret but none of that regret is from loving you."

He took a step forward looking down at the ground. Carrie moved closer to Spencer as if they were drawn together by some magical force. Silence settled on the room and the clock above his door ticked away the seconds agonizingly slow. He felt like his heart was beating in time with the clock and soon both would stop for all eternity. This was not rational, it was not logical, it should not be real, but yet he felt as if his feelings for her were an entity of their own that he could reach out and touch them as they hung in the air, exposing his heart to real danger. Bullets were less scary, bodies and carnage less heart stopping.

.

He looked up and she was directly in front of him. He wasn't even aware that she moved or that he had taken more than one step. She reached out to him touching his face. That did it, he couldn't hold back any longer. He grabbed her around the waist pulling her roughly into him. He kissed her hard on the mouth. After he kissed her until they were gasping for breath he let her go, taking a step back. Carrie was confused by his actions. He backed up until his hand touched the doorknob. He turned it and opened his door. This woman had hurt him by leaving and he couldn't do it again. As much as he wanted her he couldn't allow himself to be vulnerable again. Carrie stood looking at him with her mouth hanging open. She didn't know what to say.

.

Spencer leaned on his open door his hands were shaking so badly and he thought if she stood there for a second longer he would slam the door shut and take her to his bedroom. Carrie walked slowly to the open door she had tears in her eyes. She paused looking at him, searching his eyes for any sign of hope.

.

Spencer was about to do the hardest thing he ever did before and that was; turn away the woman he was falling in love with. Tears rolled down her face and he felt them welling up in his. "Carrie, I don't want you to go, I really don't. But I can't have you come back here now only to leave again. Until you are sure you want to be in my life completely then I can't be in yours."

"Spencer, I want to be in your life, and I will prove it to you in anyway you want me too. But I'm not leaving, not now, not ever again." With that Carrie grabbed the door from his grasp and shut it, falling into him, kissing him with a passion that sent Reid crashing against his door taking her with him. She leaned against him and he looked into her eyes. "Were you really going to make me leave?" She asked.

He nodded unable to speak. He scooped her up into his arms. He kissed her and when he pulled his mouth away he said, "But now I am not going to let you go." He carried her to his bedroom kicking his door close before falling to the bed with her.


End file.
